I often wonder if we have lost our ability to sit in a comfortable silence with friends.  I went to Disneyland last weekend (cause what else am I going to do over a three-day weekend).  While people watching as I walked through the lines (because, you know, it’s a 30 minute wait for Pirates) and I noticed that most people were not talking to each other.  Most people in most groups, with a few exceptions of course, were playing on their phones.  There was a lot of Facebook checking, Twitter checking, Instagram posting.  There wasn’t a lot of chit chatting.  And there wasn’t a lot of just sitting in a comfortable silence with companions.

This was something I noticed within my own group as well.  We did chat.  The two ladies I went with are amazing and we had great conversations.  But any time there was a lag in the conversation, out came the cell phones.  Gone was the observing, watching, and just being with the people around you.

I find this very interesting.  Mostly because I wasn’t on my phone a whole.  Of course I still checked into Facebook and posted pictures to Instagram, but I actually set a challenge for myself this Disney trip: no cell phone unless I want to take a picture or someone texts me.  I didn’t quite hit my goal – like I said, I did check into Facebook and Googled some things while in line – but for the most part, I tried to keep the phone in my purse.  With the phone away, I seemed to notice more about the park in general.  I found new Hidden Mickey’s, I noticed more details that I hadn’t seen before, and I even found a small area behind the Tiki Room that I’d never been in before.

I don’t know if this need to check devices all the time is a good thing or a bad thing.  I’m not sure if I got more out of the trip because I didn’t have my phone out all the time.  It might have been a bit more stressful because I wanted to check what was happening with friends and family in between the action of rides and conversations.  At the same time, I do feel like I saw things I would have missed had my face been staring at a screen.  I also kind of miss just standing in line with friends, not having to worry about saying anything but not feeling like I’m being ignored because they happen to be interacting with other friends online.  It’s an interesting dichotomy that maybe reflects the larger polarized opinions of the world.

As I teacher, I see this a lot.  Students don’t like to sit in silence.  They want to listen to their music or check Snap Chat or text their friends two classes down.  There seems to be a need to be connected to everyone all the time.  And if you’re not saying anything important (which, let’s face it, teens rarely think anything that adults say is important) then I’m going to focus on something that is more entertaining to me.  And that’s okay, I guess.  It’s just a changing world with new technologies and new priorities.

Maybe it’s a sign that I’m getting older.  I did just turn 30 after all.  Maybe I just want things to be simpler.  Maybe I just wish for a time when I didn’t have to compete with 100+ friends on Facebook and Twitter.

Or maybe people need to take a small break for devices and appreciate the world around them.


About DaynaJD

I'm a high school science teacher who has a love of all things science, science fiction, fantasy, Disney and nerdy. View all posts by DaynaJD

2 responses to “Silence

  • Samantha Leopoldi

    I have a bad habit of pulling out my phone normally, but I recognize I was a little more apt to use my phone that weekend. Coordinating, checking in, (and checking up), instagramming all the things, and truthfully there is some selfishness in checking social over a birthday weekend 😀 No excuses for sure, but just a reflection.

    It’s an interesting observation regardless, I saw it last night at dinner — couples either dates, or what we thought were first dates (!), checking their phones during lulls in conversations. Even during game nights, parties, and events people are inclined to stay connected, and I agree (just having read about it through industry news) people have some sense of abandonment or loss if they’re not always in the know, or not habitually checking if someone liked their post, hearted their instagram, messaged them back right away. It’s odd, because as the world gets bigger, and as people keep looking to phones or social media to fill in the silence, I feel people are longing to get back to a more disconnected time — I think we’ve just forgotten how to do it.

    • DaynaJD

      I wasn’t even complaining about it, really. I’m guilty of doing the exact same thing. It was more of an observation than anything else. I had an awesome time that weekend!

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