“Do you want to be perfect?”
That’s what Danny asked Celia the night he turned her into a vampire. Three months have passed since, and immortality didn’t transform her into the glamorous, sexy vamp she was expecting, but left her awkward, lonely, and working at a Florida gas station. On top of that, she’s a giant screw-up of an immortal, because the only blood she consumes is from illegally obtained hospital blood bags.
What she needs to do—according to her moody vampire friend Imogene—is just … bite somebody. But Celia wants her first bite to be special, and she has yet to meet Mr. Right Bite. Then, Ian moves in next door. His scent creeps through her kitchen wall and makes her nose tingle, but insecure Celia can’t bring herself to meet the guy face-to-face.
When she finally gets a look at Ian’s cyclist physique, curly black hair, and sun-kissed skin, other parts of Celia tingle, as well. Could he be the first bite she’s been waiting for to complete her vampire transformation? His kisses certainly have a way of making her fangs throb.
Just when Celia starts to believe Ian may be the fairy tale ending she always wanted, her jerk of a creator returns to town, which spells nothing but trouble for everyone involved.
Bite Somebody by Sara Dobie Bauer isn’t your typical vampire book. First off, you have Celia, the main protagonist of this tale. Celia is pretty average Joe when it comes to looks and has some major insecurities when it comes to her appearances. What person can’t relate to that. When she was bit by Danny, she hoped that all of her woes would be carried away. Alas, that’s only the beginning. But Celia is getting by, with the help of her therapist Dr. Savage. She’s a great main character not only because she is funny and weird (like me) but also because she isn’t perfect. Celia messes up and makes mistakes, but she is living her life as she can and putting the bad things behind her. It not only makes her a relatable character, but also a believable character. Celia literally could be me, and there were more than a few times I laughed out loud at her antics because I’ve been there.
Second you have Imogene, a punk rock vampire that is a throwback to the 80s, complete with cassette tape player (that’s right, cassettes kids), plastic red sunglasses, and side ponytails. Imogene befriends Celia initially for her blood supply, but the two become something like the odd couple. Plus, you can’t not love Imogene’s feisty attitude and “fuck it” nature. Imogene is the best friend that anyone can ask for because she just comes in, uses her stuff, and isn’t afraid to tell you how your fucking things up. She’s also there in a jam and will back you up forever. Literally, she’s a vampire and won’t die.
Of course we can’t forget Ian, the laid back former surfer next door who has the Best. Smell. Ever. Ian is the most laid back, go-with-theflow character ever, yet his charm and innocence makes any gal, including Celia, fall in love with him. Ian just kind of roles with the punches. Even when he finds out the truth about Celia, he’s okay with it because he likes her for her. And being a vampire is part of being her. He’s far from mister Perfect, and the flaws in him keep him grounded in the story.
Bite Somebody starts out being a pretty typical rom-com, but quickly take the reader for an exciting ride into areas of mystery, intrigue, and suspense. There are some fun, unexpected turns when Celia’s creator shows back up, but I won’t spoil that for you here. I would recommend picking up a copy and finding out for yourself.
Sara Dobie Bauer manages to navigate those twists and turn beautifully. She paints a wonderful picture of the town of Admiral Key and it’s unusual inhabitants. Her writing is funny, witty, and easy to follow as she guides you through her world. This book is for anyone who likes making fun of Twilight and enjoying some new twists on vampire shenanigans.