I’m sure this has happened to other people, single or in a relationship, who are without kids. I’m pretty sure, actually, because I’ve talked to those people, friends and family both, who are in their late 20s or 30s or 40s and have never had children. I have read articles from other women admiting that they don’t want children and the reaction they receive. I find the whole thing very odd. Like it’s anyone elses business what I want to do with my life or my body.
I don’t want children. At all. For a while I was on the fence. I listened to people as they told me I just needed to find the right person. Or I just needed to be at the right place in my life. Or it’ll just feel like the right time when it’s the right time. My little sister has a child and it’s completely changed her life for the better. I can see the love she feels for her kiddo every time she looks at him. So maybe it’s a little ironic that his first birthday really hit home the idea that, nope, I really don’t want children. I watched people coo over the baby and hold him and watched my sister open his presents and while I was filled with love for this little guy I also realized that it really isn’t for me. At all. I’m not interested.
At teacher check out this year, I really drove that point home for myself. At the end of the school year teachers come back one extra day to close out their room for the summer. Many of my peers brought their little ones in to work with them as they did some last minute paper work and picked up their summer checks. I was walking through the front office on my way out when one of the lovely ladies who works at the front desk commented on my lack of child in tow. My exact response was “nope, no, absolutely not, fuck that.” It was a quick response with no thought behind it. It was my knee-jerk answer to the question of children. It was at that point that I really realized that this decision felt right for me. I’d always been on the fence, but I’ve now jumped over the fence into the “nope” camp.
And here’s the thing: I’m not going to be ashamed of my choice. Sure, I might change my mind one day, but probably not. I enjoy my life and I shouldn’t be made to feel bad about the decisions I make that best fit me. Just like I won’t judge the 6 children someone else chooses to have. I’m a little tired of other people feeling like they need to make me feel like a horible person because of my life style. While my knee-jerk response surprised me at first, I think it’s one I’m going to start using as a stock answer to that question. Or maybe people can just stop asking women in their 30s when they are going to have children.