To the people who look to me

If you’ve ever read my blog before, you probably realize that I really don’t have all my apples in a row. Despite the fact that I am in my mid-thirties, I am still figuring a lot of this stuff out as I go. I think most adults are. I’m pretty sure that’s actually the secret of being adult: we’re all just making it up, we just have the confidence and experience to make it look like we know what we’re doing.

In light of the fact that I really have zero clues about what I’m doing, it fills me with great awe that people look up to me. I take that responsibility very seriously. I want those people to know that words cannot express how awed and humbled and thankful I am for them. They keep me thinking about how to make myself better: a better teacher, a better listener, a better friend. They make me challenge old ideas and want to embrace new ones. They make me want to live my life as the best possible version of myself that I can. I really can’t thank them enough.

I also want them to realize that mistakes are ok. Goodness knows I have made my fair share. Change is ok. It is scary and can be confusing and can sometimes be sad, but most changes in my life have been for the better. And the things that caused many nights of tears healed as time passed and helped mold me into the person I am today.

It’s ok you don’t have it all figured out. I certainly don’t. It’s ok to be frustrated as you try to figure it out. I certainly have been frustrated with road blocks in my life. It’s ok to be you and be silly and have fun and still be an adult. Goodness knows that I love Disney movies and laughing about goofy stuff.

Above all, I want you to know that I am your cheerleader. I want you to be successful, whatever that means for you. I will cheer your accomplishments. Because honestly I appreciate every one of you and want nothing but the best for you.

Resolution, smesolution

It’s a new year, full of new adventures and new experiences and new friends. And the same me. New Years tends to be the time for people to make outrageous claims about how they want to change their lives, hopefully for the better. But most of the time these “resolutions” last the three weeks it takes for the memories of bad holiday choices to fade. I have decided that I’m not making any resolutions this year.

Instead, I am going to continue to reflect on my life and behaviors and make adjustments during the entire year.

This year, I’m going to continue to reflect on and improve my teaching. I am going to look at my lessons and their outcomes and adjust my strategies. I’m going to listen to my students (both their voices and their actions) and be responsive to their needs. I am going answer questions and encourage exploration and reward positive thinking. I am going to help and be available but have boundaries because I am also a human.

This year, I’m going to continue to reflect on and improve my relationships. I am going to make time for friends and family. I am going to listen to their problems without offering unwanted commentary. I am going to help them when asked and ask for help when I need it. I am going to spend time with people I want to spend time with and not worry about the people that I don’t want to spend time with. I am going to be more accepting of my friends’ opinions, but not be afraid of sharing my opinions with them.

This year, I am going to be kind. I am going to be open to new ideas and experiences. I am going to not be afraid to be myself. I am going to not be afraid to change. I am going to not be afraid to not change.

This year, I am going to be the best version of myself that I can be.