Monthly Archives: June 2016

Bite Somebody: A Review

“Do you want to be perfect?”

That’s what Danny asked Celia the night he turned her into a vampire. Three months have passed since, and immortality didn’t transform her into the glamorous, sexy vamp she was expecting, but left her awkward, lonely, and working at a Florida gas station. On top of that, she’s a giant screw-up of an immortal, because the only blood she consumes is from illegally obtained hospital blood bags. 

What she needs to do—according to her moody vampire friend Imogene—is just … bite somebody. But Celia wants her first bite to be special, and she has yet to meet Mr. Right Bite. Then, Ian moves in next door. His scent creeps through her kitchen wall and makes her nose tingle, but insecure Celia can’t bring herself to meet the guy face-to-face.

When she finally gets a look at Ian’s cyclist physique, curly black hair, and sun-kissed skin, other parts of Celia tingle, as well. Could he be the first bite she’s been waiting for to complete her vampire transformation? His kisses certainly have a way of making her fangs throb.

Just when Celia starts to believe Ian may be the fairy tale ending she always wanted, her jerk of a creator returns to town, which spells nothing but trouble for everyone involved.

Bite Somebody by Sara Dobie Bauer isn’t your typical vampire book.  First off, you have Celia, the main protagonist of this tale.  Celia is pretty average Joe when it comes to looks and has some major insecurities when it comes to her appearances.  What person can’t relate to that.  When she was bit by Danny, she hoped that all of her woes would be carried away.  Alas, that’s only the beginning.  But Celia is getting by, with the help of her therapist Dr. Savage.  She’s a great main character not only because she is funny and weird (like me) but also because she isn’t perfect.  Celia messes up and makes mistakes, but she is living her life as she can and putting the bad things behind her.  It not only makes her a relatable character, but also a believable character.  Celia literally could be me, and there were more than a few times I laughed out loud at her antics because I’ve been there.

Second you have Imogene, a punk rock vampire that is a throwback to the 80s, complete with cassette tape player (that’s right, cassettes kids), plastic red sunglasses, and side ponytails.  Imogene befriends Celia initially for her blood supply, but the two become something like the odd couple.  Plus, you can’t not love Imogene’s feisty attitude and “fuck it” nature.  Imogene is the best friend that anyone can ask for because she just comes in, uses her stuff, and isn’t afraid to tell you how your fucking things up.  She’s also there in a jam and will back you up forever.  Literally, she’s a vampire and won’t die.

Of course we can’t forget Ian, the laid back former surfer next door who has the Best. Smell. Ever.  Ian is the most laid back, go-with-theflow character ever, yet his charm and innocence makes any gal, including Celia, fall in love with him.  Ian just kind of roles with the punches.  Even when he finds out the truth about Celia, he’s okay with it because he likes her for her.  And being a vampire is part of being her.  He’s far from mister Perfect, and the flaws in him keep him grounded in the story.

Bite Somebody starts out being a pretty typical rom-com, but quickly take the reader for an exciting ride into areas of mystery, intrigue, and suspense.  There are some fun, unexpected turns when Celia’s creator shows back up, but I won’t spoil that for you here.  I would recommend picking up a copy and finding out for yourself.

Sara Dobie Bauer manages to navigate those twists and turn beautifully.  She paints a wonderful picture of the town of Admiral Key and it’s unusual inhabitants.  Her writing is funny, witty, and easy to follow as she guides you through her world.  This book is for anyone who likes making fun of Twilight and enjoying some new twists on vampire shenanigans.

Bite Somebody comes out today (June 21st, 2016).  You can find it on Amazon and Goodreads or can buy it directly from the publisher.

You can find more awesomeness from Sara Dobie Bauer at her blog, Twitter, Facebook, or Goodreads.


Nope, no. Absolutely not

I’m sure this has happened to other people, single or in a relationship, who are without kids. I’m pretty sure, actually, because I’ve talked to those people, friends and family both, who are in their late 20s or 30s or 40s and have never had children. I have read articles from other women admiting that they don’t want children and the reaction they receive. I find the whole thing very odd. Like it’s anyone elses business what I want to do with my life or my body.

I don’t want children. At all. For a while I was on the fence. I listened to people as they told me I just needed to find the right person. Or I just needed to be at the right place in my life. Or it’ll just feel like the right time when it’s the right time. My little sister has a child and it’s completely changed her life for the better. I can see the love she feels for her kiddo every time she looks at him. So maybe it’s a little ironic that his first birthday really hit home the idea that, nope, I really don’t want children. I watched people coo over the baby and hold him and watched my sister open his presents and while I was filled with love for this little guy I also realized that it really isn’t for me.  At all. I’m not interested.

At teacher check out this year, I really drove that point home for myself. At the end of the school year teachers come back one extra day to close out their room for the summer. Many of my peers brought their little ones in to work with them as they did some last minute paper work and picked up their summer checks. I was walking through the front office on my way out when one of the lovely ladies who works at the front desk commented on my lack of child in tow. My exact response was “nope, no, absolutely not, fuck that.” It was a quick response with no thought behind it. It was my knee-jerk answer to the question of children. It was at that point that I really realized that this decision felt right for me. I’d always been on the fence, but I’ve now jumped over the fence into the “nope” camp.

And here’s the thing: I’m not going to be ashamed of my choice. Sure, I might change my mind one day, but probably not. I enjoy my life and I shouldn’t be made to feel bad about the decisions I make that best fit me. Just like I won’t judge the 6 children someone else chooses to have. I’m a little tired of other people feeling like they need to make me feel like a horible person because of my life style.  While my knee-jerk response surprised me at first, I think it’s one I’m going to start using as a stock answer to that question.  Or maybe people can just stop asking women in their 30s when they are going to have children.


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Sara Dobie Bauer

Author of BITE SOMEBODY and other ridiculous things